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From The Globe and Mail

There is no greater source of stress for most teens than heading back to school.

This anxiety affects kids of all types – from slackers to perfectionists, jocks to prom queens. It is true for kids who struggle at school, get poor grades and have few friends. But it’s also true for academically and socially high-functioning kids. September is a major transition for everyone (parents included).

Every teen feels their problem is unique, that no one has ever felt quite like they do. But, I’ve found that their worries generally fall into three categories (and some teens may worry about all three.)

Century Council Blog

From The Globe and Mail:

On one of his weekend visits with his father, Duane tells him: “Hey Dad, Mom says you and her got a divorce because you used to get real mad all the time, and that you were really mean to her. She says if it weren’t for the way that you treated her, you’d still be married.”

Anyone who is divorced knows there’s nothing that creates such passion as when your ex twists the story and casts you as the villain. They are telling the history. But to you it is a history built of lies.

Duane’s father fumes to himself, “I can’t believe she’s feeding him this poison. She’s so insecure, she takes every chance to put me down. The truth is it was exactly the opposite. She was impossible. She was the one who had these constant tantrums. I can’t let Duane have this totally distorted view of what went on. I have to set the record straight.”

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From The Globe and Mail:

“I was shocked. My Jeremy told me about a friend from school whose parents let him drink. Not only that, but the kid has parties at his house where there’s drinking. His parents willingly facilitate it!”

Underage drinking is a contentious issue. Parents agonize over whether it’s okay – even beneficial – to allow teenagers to drink at parties at their house. While some parents do all they can to block their teens’ access, others will even supply the alcohol.

“We feel that by allowing our son to drink in our home and with us, there’s a better chance he’ll develop a more moderate, responsible approach to drinking – rather than drinking becoming this wild, rebellious thing. By the time he is of legal age – if he chooses to drink – he will better able to handle it in a more mature manner.”

Century Council Blog

From The Globe And Mail

“Where were you? It’s 2:30 A.M.!”

“Daniel’s car broke down and my cellphone died.”

“You could have used Daniel’s phone.”

“His died too.”

“You’ve been drinking, haven’t you.”

“No.”

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From The Globe and Mail

“Mom, I really like your blouse. It makes you look pretty. Oh, and I have to show you this coat I saw online. It’s so nice. I just have to get it. And it’s on sale. Please? Maybe it’d look good on you, too. We could be like sisters.”

“Oh, all right. I’ll look. But if it’s too much, we’re not going to get it.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. You’re the best mom in the world.”

Teenagers have a maddening propensity for laying on the charm when it suits their purposes, but otherwise are considerably less than cordial.

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From The Globe and Mail

What can parents of teens do about sexting?

Your teen might be thinking to himself something along the lines of: “I’d like to send pictures of certain parts of my body to my girlfriend, Isabel. Come to think of it, I would like it if she shared pictures of herself with me, too. Hey, you know what? It’s really easy to do.”

Sexting is the inevitable result of the convergence of three separate phenomena: the strong urge – common to all humans – to share pictures of themselves, their friends and pets with others; the technological advances that let them quickly record and send messages, images and videos of whatever they wish wherever and whenever they want; and the very strong sexual feelings of teenagers.

Century Council Blog

From The Globe and Mail:

Tyler was sitting on the couch watching TV when his mother walked over with a stack of baby pictures and a roll of Scotch tape.

“Mom, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m pasting photos on you from when you were loving and cute – I want to remember the kid who would light up with pleasure whenever I paid attention to him.”

“Mom!”

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From The Globe and Mail

When it comes to children of divorce, as hard as it may be, you don’t want the holidays to be a time that they dread.

“Yeah, the holidays have a rich tradition with my family. It’s when Mom and Dad argue over every possible thing and always put me in the middle so that I get so tense I get have my annual holiday anxiety rash.”

We all want it to be a special time. But because the holidays are freighted with emotion, nostalgia and guilt, they can be tough to navigate. When parents are living in separate homes – often not getting along – conflicts severely dampen that festive spirit, and a vindictive spouse can quickly turn what is supposed to be a happy time into one of true unpleasantness and stress.

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From The Globe and Mail

Dear Dr. Wolf,

My 15-year-old son had been hanging around with older kids and started using serious drugs. Since we went into family counselling, he’s no longer using drugs, but he’s still doing things I don’t feel comfortable with – occasionally drinking and partying late. He says that we should now trust him. We have said that he can drink as long as it’s very limited and he tells us. We feel we are doing harm reduction, a compromise we can live with. But I worry about him constantly. At the same time, I was a rebel too and when my parents pushed me too hard I ran away. What should I do?

Afraid to Push

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From The Globe and Mail

Jason and Melissa’s parents were having an argument in the kitchen. Both of their teenagers were in the adjoining TV room.

“All you ever do is think of yourself.”

“All you ever do is nag.”

“I wouldn’t have to nag if you ever did anything.”

Century Council Blog